Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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