That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I love having hate sex.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
