I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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