Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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