Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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