so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
