My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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