it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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