Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
