don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The power of my boobs compel you
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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