dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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