boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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