have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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