I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
