Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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