a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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