I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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