So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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