Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
