are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
