Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
