dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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