Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
