my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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