Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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