you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
pop tarts are not kleenex
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My ass is underappreciated
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
