I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize