reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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