it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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