feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
