I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize