It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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