fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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