Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
