He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
