I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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