i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
