She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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