some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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