I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
