Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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