just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
how does that bad decision feel?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
