I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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