so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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