Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
