Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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