This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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