I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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