Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
