We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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