Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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