you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
